Gather round the fire children, no not quite that close you’ll burn your toes, and I shall tell you the tales of the Wandering Tom, doomed to forver wander Europe in the search of his elusive goal, Regular EU funding..
This week our hero, or anti-hero, or aging fatman, set out on the rails with his beautful and intelligent sidekick Ann, and travelled on Sunday the 30th to the ancient and wonderous city of Londinium, where they resided at the Hotel of Indigo near the lair of Paddington Bear. Having been fed well by the gay Greek waiter Ibrachim they slept until our Tom had to rise at 5pm and ride the early metal snake known as ‘Eurostar’ to the city of all gold and sprouts.. Brussels.
Here he attended a very dull research advisory council meeting and tried to seed 2 topics into the EC’s research programme for 2012, before taking the very fast ‘Star back to London and a fish and chip supper before watching the occult physician Doc Martin on the goggling box.
It was now Tuesday of the week, and a meeting with Belgians and Brits was held at the offices of the people wot run the freight service thru the Chunnel. Much jollity ensued in which our laudable lord and his minions reported on Frenchie ideas to use TGVs to carry freight from London to Paris.
Thus was the Western European leg ended, and Tom and his loyal aide Ann boarded a flying eagle and flew to the ancient land of Thrace, Macedonia and indeed Bulgaria. In the city named after wisdom, Sofia, he met with many short funny dwarfs who all smoked like chimneys, and made long endless speeches about nothing, and yet in the end proved to be very warm and welcoming in their small but perfectly formed Railway University, which used to be a military school until demilitarised in 2000.
Sadly by now our hero had succumbed to a fierce cold, and had to spend a lot of time drinking the magic potion Lemsip and blowing in the tissues of snot, before starting to feel better and writing the most exciting story of adventure of derring do to his beloved sons in far off lands.